Things Bart Has Written on the ChalkBoard

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I will not defame New Orleans
I will not waste chalk
I will not skateboard in the halls
I will not burp in class
I will not instigate a revolution
I will not draw naked ladies in class
I did not see Elvis
I will not call my teacher 'Hot Cakes'

Spitwads are not free speech
Nobody likes sunburn slappers
High explosives and school don't mix
Garlic gum is not funny
Tar is not a plaything
They are laughing at me, not with me
Hamsters cannot fly
Underwear should be worn on the inside
The Christmas pageant does not stink
Funny noises are not funny
I will not fake seizures
This punishment is not boring and meaningless
My name is not Dr. Death

I will not yell "fire" in a crowded classroom
I will not encourage others to fly
I will not fake my way through life
I will not do that thing with my tongue
I will not drive the principal's car
I will not pledge allegiance to Bart
I will not sell school property
I will not cut corners
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I will not get very far with this attitude
I will not make flatulent noises in class
I will not belch the National Anthem
I will not sell land in Florida
I will not grease the monkey bars
I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment
I will not do anything bad ever again
I will not show off {Written in an Old English font}
I will not sleep through my education
I am not a dentist
I will not bribe Principal Skinner
I will finish what I sta
I will not torment the emotionally frail
I will not carve gods

I will not spank others
I will not aim for the head
I will not barf unless I am sick
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty
I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's [sic] lounge
I will not conduct my own fire drills
I will not prescribe medication
I will not bury the new kid
I will not bring sheep to class
A burp is not an answer
Teacher is not a leper
I will not eat things for money
I will not yell "She's dead!" during roll call
The principal's toupee is not a frisbee
I will not squeak chalk
Goldfish do not bounce
Mud is not one of the 4 food groups